2000 Season

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Averages, results, photos and captain's reports available. AGM minutes, by Chris Philo - after mysteriously loosing the originals, the following is a partial record of what may have happened.

Well, the dismal Jimmies had to eat their words. The launch of a Saturday team didn't end in disaster for the Sunday and midweek sides, with only 7 men 2 dogs and a stoat being available, as they predicted. Instead we dug up no less than 16 new players, went on a heady 14 match winning run all through June; got promotion at the first attempt in the Western Union and managed to maintain our places in Division 2 of both the Strathclyde and Evening Leagues.

The Staff are therefore proud to take this opportunity to announce the adoption of their new club motto: "Victory through Incompetence". Having to beat Clydesdale to keep any chance of promotion, we batted first and subsided pathetically to 150 all out in the 44th over. Not batting out your 50 overs is criminally incompetent, the real cricketers in the team tell me. But, as Clydesdale tried to hold on for a draw, we took their last wicket in the 53rd over of their innings, thus victory was achieved through our own incompetence.

My favourite moment of the season occurred when one of our batsman hit the ball towards the cover boundary and as a rather portly youth turned, very reluctantly, to lumber after it, one of his team mates yelled: "Pretend it's a burger, Josh".

Finally here's one for your club quiz nights, "Why do cricketer's babies always arrive in May?" Well its simple Cricket matches taking up so much time, wives basically hate them, so conjugal relations normally cease in mid April in cricketers homes. With the nights drawing-in by mid August, some thawing appears in spouse's attitude towards cricketer around this time. Mid August plus nine months equals mid May. (We would like to congratulate Ian Holland on the birth of his 4th child - around mid May, Ed.)

View from Holland